Fuze Refresh: Strawberry Banana

Note: I am aware that Fuze used crystalline fructose in many of their drinks, but it appears they may have redesigned their flavors like some other companies, so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, if you'll excuse the cliche.

This odd fortified drink is in the line of 'Refresh' drinks that Fuze produces, and although I ordinarily avoid anything with banana in it, I decided to give this a try. It cost me about $1.29 at the grocery store (kind of a current price trend in the 'healthy drink' arena, eh?) and I took it home.

I was curious about the shrink-wrapped bottle that basically hid the contents from the casual shopper, and if you look in the bottle, it's obvious why. This stuff looks weird, like someone blended up a ripe banana with milk and water, kind of a brownish yellow. I can live with it though. It has a nice thick consistency, almost like a smoothie, but very blended. It tastes good, but in an odd way. Like a watered down smoothie. The fruit and milk mix well, effervescent of banana and a hint of strawberry. Very sweet, too.

Their site has some GD annoying background jungle sounds that you can't turn off, so their losing a half star right there. Their info on their own drinks is limited, many other sites have much more detailed reviews, including ingredients. 200 calories a bottle. Yikes. Don't drink too many of these, you could get fat, but you'd be totally refreshed. Upgrade your site, you guys, and turn the damn sounds off, or at least let me do it.

Score: 4 out of 5.

-- WiseGuise

Super Happy Asian Drink Hour - Skal Water!

*Wise Guise and I assembled a panel of friends, all possessing varied amounts of experience with foreign drinks, and had them try seven wacky/tasty/exotic drinks from Japan! We cleansed our palates with Japanese salty snacks in-between drinks.*

The mighty SKAL Water is a "Milk based soft drink. Tender to your mouth. Nicer to your mind. Skal Water always takes you to the cow-mooing meadow." (Actual quote from the front of the bottle.)

Skal Water is a major competitor with Calpis water in Japan.

Joe (limited experience): "It's not bad. It's like a sweet lime. A sherbet-lime. Not bad, but I like the first one (Calpis Water) better."

Wise_Guise (moderate experience): "Smells a little more lemony than Calpis does."

Danithius (advanced experience): "It's more like a Sprite flavor."

Adam (moderate experience): "A lot more citrus-y, little more soda-y"

Crystal (limited experience): "It's like flat Sprite, like what you drink when you get sick."

Consensus: Not so much a cow-mooing meadow, more like a flat, slightly creamy Sprite.

Super Happy Asian Drink Hour - Calpis Water!

*Wise Guise and I assembled a panel of friends, all possessing varied amounts of experience with foreign drinks, and had them try seven wacky/tasty/exotic drinks from Japan! We cleansed our palates with Japanese salty snacks in-between drinks.*

Say this to an unsuspecting friend:

"Ah, I love drinking fresh Calpis on a hot Summer day!"

And then you will see why Calpis chose to market themselves under a different name in the States: Calpico.

This is one of the first truly Japanese soft drinks I ever tasted in Japan. I wasn't sure about it at first, but it has grown on me steadily ever since that time, making it into my top 3 Far East Favorites. It's made with a process similar to yogurt, and has a lightly sweet, yogurt-lemon-milk flavor.

Joe (limited experience): "It's pretty good, actually...It's not milky, it's almost fruity. I couldn't see myself pounding this. It's like a melted sherbet-creamsicle taste."

Danithius (advanced experience): "It's kind of a sipping drink... It has a little bit of sour, like a lemon or a citric acid aftertaste."

Wise Guise (moderate experience): "Kind of a yogurty, milky taste. It's great, I like it."

Adam (moderate experience): "Tangy. Little bit grapefruity."

Crystal (limited experience): "It is a little grapefruity."

Consensus: Happy Refresh!

Super Happy Asian Drink Hour is upon us! (Plus HFCS Rant)

Greetings, friends. I'd like to preface our Japanese drink reviews with a quick word or two.

As you may remember from our flagship post, we said we would not review anything with HFCS unless we had a bloody good reason to turn a blind eye to it. A majority of these Japanese drinks do have a substance somewhat like HFCS (though it's not corn syrup, necessarily - they use all kinds of sources). Bear with me as I explain our bloody good reasons for reviewing them.

The Japanese have an interesting way of distinguishing sweetener ingredients. They are labeled specifically as glucose-fructose syrup and fructose-glucose syrup, depending on the ratio. (The one possessing a higher percentage comes first in the title.)

Quick review: regular sugar is about a 1:1 mix of fructose and glucose. Usual soft-drink type HFCS is about 55% fructose to 45% glucose. Seems not all that bad until you consider just how much is consumed in a day by the average person. So that particular mix percentage would be labeled fructose-glucose syrup in Japan. (Here's an interesting bonus fact - honey is actually the same amount of fructose to glucose, 55 to 45 percent. ) But here's the big kicker:

In Japan, they have another ingredient that is called "High Fructose Syrup", which entails at least 90% fructose. Now that's whatcha gotta watch out for! In America, we require no such delineation, we are only told that the 55-45 mix is the "typical" ingredient.

I found only one drink in Japan that possessed this super-fructose mix. And you know what? It was manufactured by Coca-Cola. What a surprise! I wish there was a way to keep a closer eye on the actual amounts of fructose gracing our palettes here in the States. If Coke can get away with it in health-conscious Japan, I definitely wouldn't put it past them to sneak it in over here, too.

So anyway, for those of you who like lists, this is why we're reviewing these drinks:

Less overall sugar content
Clearer delineation of fructose-glucose ratio
Unusual and original flavors
'Cause they're Japanese and insane

Good enough? Good. Stay tuned for wackiness.

Honest Ade Cranberry Lemonade

I get asked all the time, "WiseGuise, how come you don't do more reviews on -ades? Particularly lemon-ades? If you're so wise, why don't you impart your wisdom upon us concerning the penultimate summer-time drink?" The answer is simple. There aren't many good lemonades out there. At least, that aren't filled to the brim with sugars (particularly HFCS,) or just plain taste terrible. Look at anything you can find in a convenience store. Bleh. But, there is a real lemon behind this ugly lemon-shaped rock. It's called Honest Ade, from the good folks at Honest Tea.

I can still smell the fresh, tart, cranberry-lemon scent in the empty (100% recyclable) bottle. It's like something that you wish your grandmother would make, but can't, and never will, because she doesn't love you. That's why she gives you Countrytime. That's why I suggest that next time you're at your local grocer or health-food depot, look for this simple bottle. It's only about $1.30 - .50 a bottle, and it tastes like lemonade should; not too sweet, not too tart. You can sip it, chug it, slam it, swim or shower in it if you'd like, but I would suggest against the two latter.

It's all organic, baby, and just 24 grams of sugar in the bottle. I like it just as much or more than Honest's other offerings, and you can rest assured you will be seeing more of their products reviewed here, and potentially bathed in, if time permits.
The only bad news I have, is that Coke has moved in on Honest Tea, buying 40% of the company earlier this year, with an option to buy them outright in 3 years. Say it aint so.

I like it so much, it's getting 5 out of 5 asterisks.

-- WiseGuise

Fizzy Lizzy Red Hill Pomegranate

Being informed of another surprise contribution to our effort, I immediately headed to our secret Libations Laboratory (which only looks suspiciously like my cohort's garage), and was greeted by these fizzy drinks. Another welcome and generous gift by a small company valiantly fighting against Big Soda.

The Bev: I have never had the pleasure to smell any other drink with such a wonderfully pungent aroma as this, I swear it triggered the olfactory receptors connected to sweet boysenberry jam or syrup. I'm assuming the black currant juice had something to do with this. This scent set up my tastebuds for the oncomng flavor invasion. Sadly, it didn't come as I expected it to. The flavor is much mellower than the smell, although it seemed to ripened as I sipped this bottle. I even followed the suggestion that I gently shake the bottle (in order to loosen and sediment, they do use real juice here), but still felt a little let down. I am fond of pomegranate drinks as I have posted before, and real pomegranate is a tad dry, and this is no exception.

The Info: Fizzy Lizzy has been around a few years, and has a decent catalog of carbonated juice drinks, 8 as of this posting. They have won a few humble awards, and compete with the likes of GuS, Kristall and the PepsiCo owned (and pointedly rhyming) IZZE.
The Damage: Only 100 calories per 20oz bottle, that's not bad; 24 grams natural sugars.
Price: $1.29 for a 20oz bottle, $4.99 for a 4 pack.
Retailers: Lizzy's cute website has a nifty 'find' page to locate the nearest retailer to your zip code.
Ingredients: Triple-filtered carbonated water, white grape juice concentrate, pomegranate juice concentrate, black current juice concentrate, Vitamin C.

The End: Lizzy has a good balance between the carbonation and the juice here, Overall, I wasn't as impressed with this drink as I hoped to be, it smells wonderful, but the taste, although seeming to loosen up once it got comfortable, still fell a little flat. Frutzzo would win in a head to head.

The Score: 3.5 out of 5 on this one, just didn't quite do it for me.

-- WiseGuise

Fizzy Lizzy Lone Star Grapefruit

The Bev: I must first say, that unlike most other grapefruit sodas, this actually TASTES like grapefruit, it better, it is 70% juice. Now, for those who have never drank 100% grapefruit juice, or don't like it, this may not be your cup of juice. Grapefruit is naturally sweet AND bitter, which can turn some people off. For those who like it, or are willing to try it, this would be a good place to start. It strikes you with it's mild sweetness, and finishes with just enough tartness to remind you this is real juice. It isn't as sweet as more popular sodas like Fresca, but it lacks that (IMHO) nasty Aspartame aftertaste, and the possible side-effects. It tastes just like it should, a fizzy little grapefruit. It left no aftertaste or cottonmouth, like I expected it to.

The Info: Fizzy Lizzy has been around a few years, and has a decent catalog of carbonated juice drinks, 8 as of this posting. They have won a few humble awards, and compete with the likes of GuS, Kristall and the PepsiCo owned (and pointedly rhyming) IZZE.
The Damage: Only 110 calories per 20oz bottle, that's not bad; 29 grams natural sugars.
Price: $1.29 for a 20oz bottle, $4.99 for a 4 pack.
Retailers: Lizzy's cute website has a nifty 'find' page to locate the nearest retailer to your zip code.
Ingredients: Triple-filtered carbonated water, Rio Red grapefruit juice concentrate, white grape juice concentrate, natural flavor, Vitamin C.

The End: I actually liked this beverage more than I thought I would. I believe it balances out perfectly, but it may not be for everyone.

The Score: 4.5 out of 5.

-- WiseGuise

Fizzy Lizzy Gulf Coast Tangerine

Fizzy Lizzy & 1980 Monte Carlo

Here is my review of Fizzy Lizzy flavor #2 - Gulf Coast Tangerine. As you'll see from my previous post, I think very highly of the Fizzy Lizzy company and will be rooting for them until they are big enough to be acquired by Pepsi. (Just kidding, Liz).

Refer to the link above and to their web site for additional info on the company itself.

As for this particular flavor, though, I have an issue or two. The sweetness and carbonation levels are nice and smooth, which I like, but the actual taste of the juice combination brought back one memory that I haven't been able to shake...

Do you remember drinking that old-school 'from concentrate' OJ that comes in little plastic cups with aluminum foil tops? C'mon, you know what I'm talking about - you've had it at a childhood friend's house, or perhaps in grade school. Maybe even at McDonald's years ago. It's like that, but carbonated. I'm guessing the white grape juice in this drink may be the culprit - if it was pure OJ or tangerine juice, I'd like it better.

Not even to infer that this is a bad flavor, necessarily. But when I think 'tangerine', I picture that fresh, sweet deliciousness followed by the perfect citric bite. Maybe I'm just picky. (That's my job, after all.) But when I first tried real, fresh-squeezed orange juice (or tangerine juice, for that matter), I knew I could never go back. Admittedly, I have sipped the concentrate stuff once or twice in the years since then, but now it's always tainted by the thoughts of what I know I'm missing out on. If Fizzy Lizzy can capture even a portion of that essence in a fizzy-water drink, then I will be a happy camper. Till then, though, I won't be able to give this flavor more than a 3.5.

Score: 3.5/5

-Danithius-

Fizzy Lizzy Yakima Valley Grape

Fizzy Lizzy in Repose, cir. 2008

Hello my fellow soft drink revolutionaries! It's good to be back in America. Before we get into our wacky Asian drink adventure, let's hit a couple little gems that we had the good fortune to come across just before my trip to the land of wind and ghosts.

Mr. Guise and I acquired four different flavors of Fizzy Lizzy, and we decided to split them up between us. You'll see the rest come in rapid succession after this post.

First off, Fizzy Lizzy really seems to have all their ducks in a row. Frankly, I'm suspicious that they based their entire company on our guidelines for drink submissions.
Miss Lizzy has no HFCS, no added sugar, and no unnecessary "gunk", as she puts it (artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, etc.)
On top of that, they're a small outfit that refuses to do business with big-box stores, but still manages a wide distribution.
On top of that, they have eight flavors from all across the spectrum, and a recipe page for making 'Dizzy Lizzy' cocktails and 'Lucid Lizzy' virgin drinks.
And finally, they have a slightly intimidating (and yet somehow strangely arousing) cartoon spokeswoman who watches you defiantly from the front label of the bottle, daring you to "gently shake (her) hips before placing bottle to your lips". Wow. Now if that doesn't make the old schoolboy fantasies flare up again, I don't know what will. Seriously. It's like a hotter, soda-pop version of your fifth grade teacher. Or possibly Rosie the Riveter.

Excuse me, I think I need a drink...

OK, I'm back. Now on to the beverage itself. This Yakima Valley Grape flavor is nicely balanced. It's a combo of concord and white grapes, with some lemon juice concentrate thrown in. It wasn't too sweet, and it had enough flavor and panache to keep me interested till the last sip. It's a lot like homemade grape juice...if a chunk of dry ice fell into it, of course. (The carbonation level is about medium, by the way. I like my bubbles on the finer side, personally, but this drink's CO2 didn't seem intrusive.) Yakima Valley Grape had 29g of sugar in the whole 12 oz bottle, and that ain't bad, either. You can find the complete nutritional info on the drinks section of their site. I really have no reason not to give this drink a 5 star rating, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Score: 5/5

-Danithius-